By: Bria Wannamaker
I heard somewhere once that porous boundaries keep us connected but not respected and protected, while rigid boundaries keep us protected and respected but not connected. Here are some ways that boundaries, or lack there of might show up in your life and what to do about this.
4 signs that your boundaries are non-existent
1
You’re known as the YES! person.
You say yes to everything without pausing first or thinking about it or reflecting on it. You basically abandon yourself and your needs.
2
You don’t set boundaries with yourself.
Your self-care practices have gone to shit; you’re staying up late, working too much, eating past satiation or not eating enough, not drinking enough water, neglecting to spend time with friends.
3
You feel like nothing is really enjoyable.
You rush through EVERYTHING; work, play, family, friends, meals, you even shower with a timer on. Heaven forbid you’re allowed to enjoy a little me time in the tub. Everything is just another item waiting to be ticked off of your to-do list.
4
You feel guilty for spending money.
You’ve been living outside of your means, you neglect to create a budget for yourself – ignorance is totally not bliss in this situation!
Here’s what to do…
- Less is more: What can you remove from your calendar? Instead of adding things or seeking externally to make things better.
- Create sacred space: Fearlessly block off time and create boundaries for the things that you love. Be unapologetic in this pursuit prioritizing your time. This will shift as you transition through various life stages.
- Million dollar question: Ask yourself, “if I was given $1,000,000 today, would I still do ____ right now?” This is a great way to find out what your priorities are. For example, I love podcasting and blogging so much, if someone gave me 1 mil today, I would still be committed to releasing podcast episodes & posts. However, I would not, answer my emails today because I value having weekends off and I believe that nothing is so urgent that it can’t wait until Monday. We often act out of desperation and scarcity and violate our own boundaries in doing so. If your financial situation changed, would you still act in this way?
- Survive vs. thrive: Is what you’re doing right now allowing you to thrive? Or simply to survive?
- It’s either a HELL YES!! or, it’s a Fuck no: Self explanatory. Sorry for all of the profanity, mom.
- Debt vs. investing: Is what I’m doing right now making an investment into my future? Or is it creating debt in my future? Example, let’s talk food – if I restrict my food intake today, is that creating an investment into my future or taking away from? Probably the latter – think health problems, fatigue, brain fog, difficulty with fertility, irritability, lack of creativity and connection – restricting your food intake today could take away from your future self.
- Do yourself a favor with these last 4…
- Breathe on it: 10 deep breaths before your make a decision
- Sweat on it: Walk, run, lift weights – do your thing, get a hit of endorphins before you choose.
- Vent on it: Talk to someone that you trust.
- Sleep on it: Take your time. Give yourself time.
This week on The Better Bodies Podcast:
Damn, definitely relate to this when it comes to working. I find myself volunteering to do things without thinking twice, even though I know it’ll be eating away at my spare time.
It’s so true! When we say yes and open the door to one thing, we’re ALWAYS by nature, saying no to something else – even if that’s just peace of mind.